Ugh! I get so freaking tired of hearing “I can’t tell you”. BS, you CAN tell me, you just won’t. Let’s clarify that right here. Now, since that’s done, let’s talk about WHY you won’t tell me. “It’s confidential.” Yeah yeah yeah. So tell me this, when did it become confidential? After we talked about the situation at lunch today? (When I was off the clock BTW, giving my own time to this company believe I am dedicated.) Or was it after I did the research and analysis for it? Maybe it after I helped come up with the plan to save our butts and make it work without losing anyone?

I feel like I’m being blown off. That I’m receiving no credit for the work I put into it. I’m important enough to do the work for it but not important enough to be included in the meetings and discussions. I feel like I’m being treated like a little kid, told to wait until Mommy and Daddy are done talking about decisions that will affect my life before being included. This stuff affects all of us, and that includes me. I am aware I am not the most affected person by this. However, I am more affected than others. If you are going to fill my schedule up AND still expect me to be able to accomplish the other responsilities I have been given, then I would like to be included in the meeting and discussion. I would like to know ahead of time that the job I love is about to become crappy. I can’t afford to leave my job, so at least you have the security of knowing I’m not going anywhere, but could you at least respect me enough to include me?

Notice that? I’m not even asking for recognition, or for credit. All I want is to be included. I want to be told what decisions are coming down the line. I want KNOWLEDGE.

Alright I’m done with my fit. For now. But I will continue to keep putting in the work I’m doing and excelling at it, so that one of these days I can lay it in front of you and let you feel dumb. You will seem like a fool, and all I have to do is keep up the good work I am doing.

Remember my post titled Strawberry Banana?

There’s more…

The Urgent Care Clinic called me the other day to let me know that I am positive for Bacterial Vaginosis and Yeast. The girl then tells me that I am also positive for Chlamydia. Chlamydia? That’s not possible! I told the girl on the phone that she needed to look at the test again because THAT was NOT possible.

My husband and I have been together for 10 years AND we are monogamous. We are so confident in our relationship that we joked around saying that maybe I contracted it from the bull that I rode at the bachelorette party I went to a few weeks ago. NOT!

I had made a joke after the girl told me that I was positive for Chlamydia that I would have had to immaculately conceived it like the Virgin Mary.

I told the Urgent Care clinic that they needed to fax not 1 but 2 copies of the test results to my primary care doctor. I made an appointment immediately to be seen and my husband made an appointment to be seen as well.

It turns out that the test results do not say that I’m positive for anything BUT yeast and Bacterial Vaginosis. It stated plain as day that I am NEGATIVE for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and all the other STD’s that they tested me for.

I’m quite irritated with the entire matter and think that I should do something about this because if people don’t know how to read test results then they shouldn’t be passing them along over the phone. I wonder how many good and solid marriages have been disrupted because of an idiot healthcare professional?

What do you think? Do you think I should complain to a higher power or just let it go?

That’s what kind of Low Fat Yogurt I’m eating right now. I’m hoping and praying that eating Yogurt really does help with those yeast type infections.

Normally I am all too familiar with all the stuff that can go on down there. For the most part I never have any of those private sorts of issues.

I know TMI, right?

So last night I went to Walgreens and picked up a Yeast Infection test. I had no idea they had those sorts of things out there on the market so that you can test for stuff like that. I also picked up one of those 3 day Monistat inserts. I’ve never tried those before until last night.

Things are not doing so well down there. If whatever is going on doesn’t clear up by Monday I will most certainly be going to the doctor.

Why do things have to be so complicated for women?

UPDATE: I could not take it any more. It just felt like somebody was trying to scratch the entire inside of me. Horrifying and very uncomfortable.

So I want to the Urgent Care Clinic and saw a nice doctor determined to get to the bottom of my issues. Turns out I have a double infection of Yeast and Bacterial Vaginosis. What!?

The last time I had a yeast infection I think I was about 19 years old? Where in the heck did the BV come from? According to the doc it’s the bad bacteria down there overpowering the good bacteria and then settling in. Settling in? I don’t think so!

So now I am on this medicine that I’m supposed to take twice daily for the BV and then one pill I took yesterday to knock the yeast out. The doctor said it was no wonder I felt like something or someone was trying to scrape out the insides. I have to infections going on at the same time. Talk about uncomfortable!

Sunday’s Post Secret

I can totally relate to this photograph.

I remember a time when I was 6 or 7 months pregnant.

I took my friend to the clinic so she could get an abortion.

Sometimes we are just there for our friends even if we don’t agree.

It doesn’t mean anything bad.

It just means that she’s your friend.

It’s about unconditional love and tolerance even when our friends make mistakes.

I dreamed about my ex boyfriend last night. This is the only one I still talk to, and we have a positive friendship. Of course, it probably helps that we had a child together. Anyway, I dreamed about him last night.

Dreaming about other people, including people from my past, is not a first for me. The part that stuck me as odd- and uncomfortable- was that A) my husband was not in the dream, B) I was attempting to win over my ex, and C) I was trying to win him away from whoever he was dating in the dream. I’m not liking any of those things, let alone putting them together.

I feel guilty for even having that dream. I know that we don’t control our dreams. However, dreams come from our subcounscious, so what is my subconscious doing or trying to tell me?

Also, do I tell my husband about it or don’t tell him? I generally tell him when I have a dream that bothers me, for any reason. He comforts me and we go on with life. However, I don’t want to tell him about a dream I had where I was chasing another man. And then I feel guilty for wanting to hide it from him.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I’ll put it away for now, and see what happens. If it goes away, I’ll be done with it. If it keeps bothering me, I’ll go from there.