Blabbable Secrets

We’ve had to deal with the drinking and driving, outpatient treatment, cutting, 5 days on the psych ward, substance abuse, getting fired from job #1, getting fired from job #2, failing 1st semester college classes, being put on academic probation, warning #1 at the dorms, warning #2 at the dorms, warning #3 at the dorms and probably getting kicked out this afternoon.. what is next?

This morning she was in a car accident with a friend who was driving like a bat out of hell. He wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing and slammed into a parked car. He suffered broken ribs and she suffered whip lash. Thankfully it was nothing more. The car is totaled.

There is a meeting at the dorm this afternoon to determine if she can stay or not. There are pretty strict rules about substance abuse and bringing people back to the dorms and making a lot of noise. I would imagine since she has been warned more than once or twice that today they will kick her out and she will have to find another place to stay.

She says that she is moving out of town. She wants to go live with the ex-dead-beat-sperm-deposit. She has no idea what she is thinking! He has nothing of value to offer her whatsoever. He can’t even take care of himself. I can think of so many other places for her to live instead of going down there to live in the ghetto with him.

I hope my parents are happy for being the most toxic poisonous enablers to ever walk the planet earth. My Dad co-signed to have her dorm rent paid for the entire year. Now that she is getting kicked out he will still have to pay unless the school can find somebody to take her spot.

Her counselor encouraged her to go to AA meetings, told us she should be going to school from home for the first year, and that the dorms were the last place for her to be since it was pretty clear that she has no self control and is easily influenced by others.

So what does my Dad do? Not only does he co-sign the dorm fee but he also co-signs the teenager checking account. The statement that she left out in her room showed that she had about 4-5 overdrafts with bank fees ranging from $10-$15 for each overdraft. The final balance is in the negative $70’s. If I’m not mistaken, it will all go to collections if it dips into the -$100’s.

It serves them right for getting involved in such a negative and enabling kind of way. They didn’t bother to find out anything that was going on with her. Had they reached out to us in an adult way we could have informed them of what was going on along with the advice that the counselor was having us follow. But no, they had to meddle in a bad way and rescue somebody that didn’t need to be rescued in the first place. Now they have to sleep in the bed they made!

Right now I don’t think she knows what she is going to do. She’s told everybody and their mother that she is moving away to live with the ex-dead-beat-sperm-deposit. I don’t thinks he will finish out the semester. What a waste! So many kids that would love to have the opportunity that she has and she is blowing it! She has absolutely no direction whatsoever. I don’t think she is mature enough to be in school. Her track record is not the best.

Leaving town and trying to run away from negative influences is not going to solve the problem. There are negative influences everywhere in the world. Besides, she is 100% responsible for the decisions that she makes so who is going to save her from herself? All of these bad things that are happening to her most would consider to be a “rock bottom” type of deal. You know, those situations that help you to get your head out of your ass so you can wake up and start living your life right!?

I don’t know what is going to happen next. I took myself to the bank where we had opened a savings account for her when she was a little girl. She totally drained all of that and there was only $1.00 left. I told the lady it was time to close that out. When she asked me why, I told her because it was time to cut the cord. I don’t want my named tied to hers. If she wants to have a savings account she is going to have to secure one by herself in her own name w/out my name being attached.

I hope she realizes that if she quits school she’s going to have to pay back her loan and her book fees right away. What a waste of time and money! I don’t think she understands that while she is not in school and she is considered an “adult” that she doesn’t get to stay on our health insurance. She’ll have to get out there and find another job that offers some type of basic health plan.

To be honest with you she doesn’t want to come home. She wouldn’t stay with either set of grand parents and she doesn’t want to stay with either sets of aunts or uncles. Why? Because she doesn’t like any of our rules. She wants to live free as a bird, not have any responsibilities, and major in partying.

Going down to be with the ex-dead-beat-sperm-deposit will give her exactly the kind of freedom she is looking for but at what cost? What will her “rock bottom” be? I don’t even know what to do at this point. I’m waiting for the counselor to call me back with some advice. I can hear her now, “she has to suffer the natural consequences of her decisions.” We’ll see what she has to say. I’m expecting to get a call back some time this afternoon.

In the meantime I suppose I can just sit and wait and twiddle my thumbs. Maybe I shouldn’t take her too seriously since she doesn’t seem to have any drive whatsoever. She is nothing but talk and no action. She could just be talking out of her ass about leaving to go live with him. Who knows what she will do? Me… I plan to hit the gym and try and get a good night’s rest. I’m also trying very hard not to let “worry” become my idol. It’s so hard to avoid worrying when you’ve done your best to raise somebody right and did everything in your power to love and protect them all these years.

I don’t know what but something has to wake her up. None of this phases her. Everything is no big deal. She has absolutely no shame what-so-ever. She is one of the most selfish individuals I have ever met living in a fantasy world. What does she think she is going to get by going down to live with him? He is a piece of shit, good-for-nothing… LOSER! What is she thinking? She is not thinking! She is wasting her chances. She is wasting a good opportunity sitting right in front of her. She has no drive whatsoever to do the right thing. It’s all oh so frustrating!