I never thought I would say this but young people have no appreciation for the wisdom of their parents.
My daughter just broke up with her loser boyfriend and she’s been updating her status on Facebook about it. Everybody has been sending her words of wisdom, uplifting comments, kudos, and thumbs up. You would think it would be ok for me to do the same, NO.
I realize I am Mom and she doesn’t want to hear from me and that’s fine. BUT, she has to hopefully realize that I’m just trying to support her decision and help her to feel better about it because she has been crying A LOT. She is acting like the world has come to an end because she is no longer with this creep.
The other day somebody texted me something uplifting so I thought I would share it with her. You know … give her something positive to dwell on. So… I forwarded her the uplifting note.
The next thing I know she is calling me telling me she doesn’t want to hear from me about this because she is having a hard time with it and is trying to get over him.
WOW. It’s ok to hear from everybody else about it … but not from Mom. She says it seems like I’m super happy about the breakup (I am) and it shows. (Uh, no … it doesn’t show … I’m just trying to be there for her and support her.)
The conversation went well. I didn’t agree with anything that she said but I told her I would refrain from sending her anything uplifting, posting anything positive on her Facebook page, and that I wouldn’t even thumbs-up anything if that is what she wanted. She thanked me and that was that.
After the phone conversation when I got home later on that night I went through her Facebook page and deleted any comment I ever left her going all the way back to July. I “un-liked” everything that I “liked” and removed myself from having been tagged on pictures. I will give her the space that she wants.
I suppose I need to just pretend that she doesn’t go to college here in town. I’ll pretend that she is in college in another state. When she calls, if it’s important, she can leave a message. Depending on what the message says will be the deciding factor if I call her back or not.
She just needs to be left alone. The only time she ever calls is not really to see what the family is up to and when we can all get together again … but when she wants something. That’s normal. That’s typical. She’s a selfish teenager. You would think I would “get it” by now.
chels // Oct 22, 2009 at 8:17 AM
she’s having a hard time. respect that. you do not need to remove yourself from her life completely. going through her whole facebook page and unliking/deleting everything is so immature and unnecessary. you are her mother. you should know by now that respecting your teenager is key. she broke up with her boyfriend. she’s going to be upset, moody, and irritable. just apologizing is enough. you should never pretend that your daughter is somewhere out of state when really, she’s close to home. that is a completely horrible thing to do. that is negligence of your own children. you need to stop overreacting. your daughter needs you, even though she is in college and will never admit it. you need to be there for her. being there for her does not mean forcing yourself upon her. let her deal with things the way she is used to dealing with them, and be there for support when she comes to you. don’t go to her, but don’t ignore her. dealing with teenagers is indeed tricky, but the way you’re acting is like you’re giving up. never give up. and NEVER POST BLOGS ABOUT YOUR KIDS FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE. how do you think that makes her feel? you’re talking about her to anyone that will listen, and you’re not even asking for advice. it doesn’t matter if you’re venting or asking for advice. you should not broadcast your daughters problems. if she ever found out, i’m sure she would hate you for a good couple of years or so. seriously, you need to think about your actions before you do pursue them. that’s all i have to say.
blabb // Oct 22, 2009 at 10:45 AM
Hey You, Bitch On Wheels
Blabbable Secret Confessions » Blog Archive » Hey You, Bitch On Wheels // Oct 27, 2009 at 10:49 PM
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