Blabbable Secrets

She asked if she could live with her Aunt and Uncle. Ultimately it was our decision and they did ask us what we thought about it. What could we say? She doesn’t listen to us. So we basically told them we were fine with it. So now she’s living with her Aunt and Uncle. I’ll admit, I am relieved by this latest move of hers but am wonderring to myself how long it will be before there are problems over there.

I’m going to back off and leave them alone for awhile. I’ll wait for my SIL to call me with something fun to do with the kids. I know they are super busy this week from what she told me the other day. All of the jobs that she has now are closer to their house so that’s kind of nice. She can ride a bike to work if they are unable to take her which is something I tried to implement a long time ago over here at our house.

So basically she’s going to live at their house until she moves into the dorms in August. She asked them if she could live with them until that time and they said yes. So that’s how it goes and I’m completely fine with it.

She did come over and have dinner with us the other night. She spent time with her little sisters who are completely heart broken that she’s not here. She painted their toes and fingers and they had a ball. The 5 year old cried and cried when she left to go back to her Aunt and Uncle’s house.

I found out when we had dinner that my folks signed a guarantor document that the university needed in order for her to move into the dormitory. We told her no, her Aunt and Uncle told her no, and they agreed to do it right away and had it faxed back to her in no time flat. I think it’s great that they did this for her because we could not. We can’t afford it. If something were to happen to her on accident and she couldn’t work to provide that rent we could not afford the $450.00 per month it takes to fulfill the contract for the next year. That’s right, the next year. So I’m glad my folks were able to do that for her.

One thing she did mention to me was that she was getting a little tired of her grandmother crying on the phone every single time she called to talk to them. I guess my mom likes to cry and complain to her about me and how I haven’t apologized to her all this time. News Flash People! I’m NOT going to apologize to her. I didn’t do anything to her. She always walks away from the situation. She’s the one that left MY house instead of staying to try and work things out. Oh and my father? He’s not off the hook! He’s gone right along with her in not having anything to do with me and he wasn’t even here to see what went down.

I’m tired of apologizing over and over again to keep the peace. The last time she was here she really hurt the girls’ feelings with the things that she was telling them and they were just babies. Poor little princess (she was three years old at the time) got pushed out of the bathroom because she said Grandma’s hairspray was stinky. Why couldn’t my mom just go with it? In any case… my father is no better. He goes along with everything she says and does and has kept it that way for years. I have the little ones to protect now. They don’t deserve to have their little feelings hurt all the time.

But yeah, every time she calls to talk to her grandparents my mother cries and complains about how I have not apologized to her. I’m not going to either. It’s not that I haven’t ever apologized to both of them… it’s that they think they deserve it every time. I’m almost 40 years old with my own family and I’m getting a bit tired of all the BS. So no… this time they are not getting an apology for me. If they want to miss important events like graduations then that will be something they have to live with for the rest of their lives.

Deep down I think it’s disgusting that my own mother is stubborn and expects me to apologize to her EVERY SINGLE TIME. It irritates me that they don’t know how to tell their own adult children how sorry they are for things that they have done in the past that hurt us. My own parents called CPS on me back when my oldest was just four years old because they didn’t like the housing arrangement I was in at the time. Can you believe that? My own parents calling CPS on me and all because my stubborn bullheaded mother did not like the fact that I was living in a house at the time with three other adults. See what happens when she doesn’t get her way? Naturally the case worker investigated, found the allegations unfounded, and the entire case was dropped. However, the case remains open in my own heart and mind. Where was my apology then? Where is my apology today? We can’t even sit down and hash it out like adults because my mother has personal issues she will never get over. That’s fine, I’m in protection mode. I will not subject my kids to her wrath.

So… it’s been two years since they have talked to me. I often wonder how my father can live with his decision to support her in EVERYTHING. Oh well… it’s their life… right?

It will be interesting to see how long my daughter will last at her Aunt and Uncle’s house before she ruins that situation. I hope for her sake and my sanity that she is successful and does right by them. I want her moving in over there to be a positive experience for all of us. After all, it’s not permanent. It’s just until she moves into the dorms in August. We’ll have to wait and see how it goes I guess.